Nikolai Kingsley

Help! I can't meet frogs! 

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: help! i can't meet frogs!
Date: Tue, 6 Oct 1998 01:17:41 +1000
Organization: Maracites

>>try as hard as i can, i still can't visualise
>>frogs in S&M gear. not even after recalling that
>>strip in Heavy Metal so long ago, "Atilla the Frog".
>
>Oh, Nik. You just haven't met the right amphibians.

i despair of ever meeting the right amphibians. it's not as if i haven't tried. i've been to that huge pet-shop in Kilsyth, bought boxes of One Hundred Large Crickets... i hang out at the best watering-holes, but i've only ever heard them. frogs just don't like me. it's depressing, because when you try to talk to people about it, they just laugh.

they don't even have to be the right ones. i wouldn't mind meeting the *wrong* amphibians. i did once meet an axolotl, but i couldn't deal with the way it ate that worm. it had the damn thing hanging out of its mouth for over a WEEK and it still didn't swallow it. this bloated white half a worm just hung out of its face. it made me nauseous just thinking about it. i couldn't go back after that.

nikolai
---
maybe i should try reptiles instead. 

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: help! i can't meet frogs!
Date: Thu, 8 Oct 1998 16:29:14 +1000
Organization: Maracites

>you have missunderstood the frogs meaning! since it
>can not talk it had to rely on a type of pantomime ...
>now think, what does the worm represent? {your penis}
>snd where was the worm? {his mouth} now i think it
>should be crystal clear to you that this frog *liked*
>you, iykwim, aityd, irtyd.

i don't want to *fuck* frogs, Beelz. i just want a relationship.

nikolai
---
ps; this is true 

Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Re: help! i can't meet frogs!
Date: Tue, 3 Nov 1998 00:42:31 +1100

>>woo woo, sounds like he's way out of my league.
>>i'd better stick to pressing my nose up against
>>the vivaria in pet shops and drooling at the
>>very small venemous tree frogs from south america.
>
>Or just go scrape your leg and empty your boots.

(long stare)

yeah. i'll do that.

nikolai
---
where house?

( top )

All work on this site is © Nikolai Kingsley unless otherwise stated.