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who are these people?
I wrote a program to generate names from random numbers. It's pretty simple; it treats certain combinations of letters as consonants (like T, N, SH, KH), and others as vowels (E, I, Y, EE, AI). Chooses either a V or C to start, then alternates until the name length (also randomly selected, between two definable parameters) is exceeded.
Like Sturgeon's Law says, ninety percent of its output is crap. Sometimes, though, it comes up with interesting combinations...
- Afenecos
- who has to be the plump, beFezzed official at an Egyptian border office. He speaks lightly accented English, smells of them funny cigarettes and goes through your luggage, finding only the American twenty hidden where you knew he'd find it.
- Shala (the compassionate)
- Okay, I added 'the compassionate'. She's a minor Indo-African deity, usually represented in glossy black stone, four breasts with preternaturally elongated nipples, four arms ending in four hands, holding a bowl, a knife, a healer's staff and an egg. Men had to dedicate their ejaculations to her in order to break droughts, mainly because she thought it was a hoot seeing all these guys jerking off to try and make it rain. She usually took pity on them after a few days.
- Toshiko
- is a Japanese marital aid cunningly shaped like a geisha. You don't have sex with her; she serves you tea. It helps.
- Shufufnu
- was a scribe of the great Pharaoh, Outhouse 8.
- Ochakite
- the Ochakite Heresy was a short-lived movement around the third century AD in Byzantium. For a period of nine years, its adherents believed that the gospels were not only the word of God, but possibly the funniest situation comedies ever written. Many were crucified in rehearsals before Pope Timothy the Cat removed their access to the city theatres.
- Equenakhic
- is an astrological term, referring to the brief period immediately following moon-set where your eyes are still kind of blurry after staring at it for ages through cheap binoculars. Equenakhic interrupts are, supposedly, the number of times you need to blink before being able to see second-magnitude stars, although it has been suggested that the conjunction of an obviously ancient expression ('Equenakhic') and a term often associated with computers ('interrupts') is an attempt by latter-day astrologers to make their craft seem more scientific.
- Ekyzhiphas
- A lesser-known Pharisee. Stood immediately behind Caiaphas; his job was to intercept any Sicariite daggers that should happen that way. Fortunately, this situation never came about.
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