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Elmerfudd Understudy
She stood well back, behind the cameras, and watched the action. Elmer was chasing an early incarnation of Daffy Duck; a rope had been slipped around one booted ankle, drawn tight; he was snapped back until his whole body had been stuffed back into the boot. His head protruding from the end, he gave a bewildered look at the camera and said, "How am I ever going to catch that squewwy duck?" "Aaaaand THAT'S a wrap. Okay, take five, people. We'll follow it up from there." The stage crew dispersed, two of them moving over to help Elmer out of the boot. She examined him for any signs of injury; he seemed as fit as a fiddle. Internally, she cursed. This was a waste of time! Briefly, she considered arranging an accident, just so that she could get some camera time, but she recalled an instance where Daffy was Bugs' understudy and had similar intentions. Things hadn't worked out for him. Things just didn't seem to work out, ever, for the Straight Men. Foghorn Leghorn had that dog that he was always teasing; Bugs had Daffy; Daffy had Elmer; Tweety had Sylvester, and the Straight Men (even if some of the parts were played by women) always got shat on. Just for the hell of it - to make sure she still could - she morphed her own face (soft oval lines, nice cheekbones) into that of Elmer. Rounded head, rounded ears, bulbous nose. She relaxed, and the bloated pink spheroid shrank back to a regular size, her long brown hair sprouting from the glossy surface. She exerted a bit more effort and morphed completely; smooth pink head, hunting cap and gear, the whole deal. An AK47 materialised in her now-chubby hands and smiling to herself, she drew a bead on the director, who was going over the next scene with the real Elmer. Glumly, she relaxed and the gun vanished. One day, she thought. One day. |
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