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Order In The Court!
you ask us why we have done what we have done? very well. we were in peace when you came to our monasteries and hovered above the walls and watched us as we moved about and you descended and said in your alexei-sayle-whiny-pouty voices "oh, what is he doing? why are they always doing this? always scuttling along the edges of the walls like giant cockroaches?" we appreciated that this was some spiritual quest. we were, after all, in peace and if you had questions, we could answer them. but standing about in your hawaiian-print board-shorts and your big straw hats and your sunglasses and your camera and pointing at us like that. in our monastery. while we were moving about. while we were at peace. you were ruining our chances with the chicks, buster. and that is why we killed them all, Mr Baxter. the tourists, yes. i shan't. no, i will not honour you. you are a lower life form. send for more bailiffs, then! i quite liked the first one you let me eat. right. very well. we're going back to our monastery. and if you ever come around and start ruining our chances with the chicks. you will be so fucking sorry. we'll come back here and use some black holes to pull your fershlugginer planet into the sun, boy.
Sun, 11 Apr 1999 |
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